SPECIAL HOLIDAY OFFER: 1 ON 1 COACHING

“I absolutely believe that people, unless coached, never reach their maximum capabilities.”

 -Bob Nardelli (CEO of Home Depot)

Hello, Coach Ty Readers!

I am offering a very special holiday deal for 1 on 1 coaching with yours truly, and I wanted you all to have first dibs.  I want to create as much value as I can in your lives over the next year, and so I am offering ONE FULL MONTH OF COACHING FREE.  I work with people for a minimum of 4 months at $550/month, and so if you sign up for a 4 month contract or longer at anytime during the month of December, one of those months will be completely free.  That's A $2,200.00 VALUE for ONLY $1,650.00.  That's a savings of $550.00 OFF my usual price.  

This a wonderful opportunity to move powerfully and peacefully through the holidays and into the new year.  Create 2012 the way you want it with purpose and intention!  This is also a wonderful chance to give a truly valuable gift to somebody you love.  Instead of some inanimate object where the excitement will wear off in a day or two, just imagine the kind of lasting gift this would be. What if, for instance, you permanently transformed your relationship with money, created work you love, or re-created your romantic relationship to be truly wonderful?  What if you got your body light, fit, and healthy and learned how to keep it that way with ease?  What if you truly learned that peace, joy, well-being, and love are available to you in every moment?  What else would be possible in your life? These are truly wonderful gifts to give, are they not?  

Call my office today to have a free consultation and sign up for the most transformative year of your life!

Phone: 503-389-3778

Email:  CoachTylerThurman@gmail.com

May your holidays be full of Love and Light.

Until next time, learn heaps, live boldly, and love always!

Coach Ty

On Giving Thanks

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”

  -Friedrich Nietzsche

As I sit here in my office, on the evening of Thanksgiving here in the States, I have been contemplating just what giving thanks is all about.

When I was growing up, I was always told that it's very important to say 'thank you' for just about everything that we had, or was given to us.  Suffice it to say, I got pretty darned good at saying those two little words.  What I never spent much time doing, was actually contemplating what for?  What's the purpose of expressing gratitude? It can't be as simple as a polite saying that is programmed into us from a very early age can it?  Well, In my experience, no, it's not that simple and in fact, it's far more valuable than most of us realize.

Giving thanks, is really just expressing gratitude, or showing appreciation for what somebody has done, or more importantly who they are being.  It is an acknowledgement that who somebody is to you is meaningful and that they make a positive difference in your life.  Giving thanks is more about who we are being than what we say or do.  This means that it can take just about any form. We might express our appreciation through hugs and kisses, or cards, or a smile, a soft touch, a written message, kind words or gestures.  I think it can honestly be boiled down to an expression of love.  

If your youth was anything like mine, saying 'thank you' was more of an obligation than a privilege.  I think that can pretty much be boiled down to the fact that few people actually enjoy doing what they are 'supposed' to do. Nobody likes to be forced into anything, even if it's something really wonderful, like gratitude. 

Let's give you some new reasons to give thanks that may just change your mind about the whole thing.

When you develop an 'attitude of gratitude' and begin to make a practice of appreciating much more in your life, much more of what you want shows up.  The reality is that when you spend more time focusing on what it is you really love about your life, you get more of it.  This absolutely works, but exactly why is something of a mystery that is well beyond my pay grade.  Let me share with you the two most common theories and I'll let you draw your own conclusions.  The first of which is called harmonic resonance or the law of attraction.  This theory recognizes the vibratory and energetic nature of the universe and says that those things that vibrate like one another, will attract each other.  A common case study supporting this, is that of the grandfather clocks.  If you have a room full of grandfather clocks, they will all eventually synchronize themselves to the clock with the dominant rhythm.  It's pretty cool if you ever have the opportunity to check it out.  This theory says that "that which is like unto itself is drawn" or 'like attracts like'.  In other words if you align your thoughts, words, and actions with what you want and love, you will begin the business of creating and manifesting that in your life.  Expressing gratitude is a huge part of that because you place your focus on what you are thankful for, in turn attracting more of that into your life.  If you want to learn more about this,  I highly recommend the work of Esther and Jerry Hicks.  I'd start with their book called "Ask and it is Given".

The second theory has been called a lot of different things, but I particularly like the name 'The Perceptual Snowplow' which I first heard from Super Coach Michael Neill.  This theory can basically be summed up with the saying, you'll always tend to see whatever it is you are looking for.  Most people have experienced the phenomenon of deciding on a car that they liked or maybe a friend got a new car, and suddenly they see that model of car everywhere. It's not that there were suddenly 100's more of those cars on the road, it's that you began looking for them.  In the field of Neuro-linguistics we call this sorting or filtering.  Usually this occurs at a pretty unconscious level, but we actually sort through and filter out all of the extraneous data and keep that which we are looking for.  The reality is we can't be aware of everything there is to see anyway, so we may as well sort for the good stuff, right(To learn more, read my article on The Power of Focus)?

Here's the cool thing, it doesn't matter what theory you buy into, it is a very real phenomenon.  When you switch your point of focus, you experience of the world differently.  So, when you deliberately spend time appreciating those people and things in your life, they grow and expand.  

Another reason to hold an energy of gratitude is, other people love to be authentically appreciated for what they have done or who they are being in your life.  It will make people's day when you take the time to outwardly acknowledge them.

Finally, one of the wonders of expressing appreciation is that it feels good.  When you spend time noticing the beauty in your life, or the love, or the wealth, it feels good.  Also, it is a multiplier, the more you appreciate, the more you notice things to appreciate.  You are never taking away from someone else in order to give thanks to others.  

A bonus result of appreciating people, is that it makes your relationships much more wonderful!  When you spend time noticing and expressing everything that is wonderful about your spouse, or your kids, or parents, they will transform before your very eyes.  Often times, those things that they did that annoyed you, will just lose their significance.  

I know these are bold claims, but all I can say is, do it!  Make a practice out of it and see what happens for yourself.

Coaching Tip of the Week:

• Spend 15min. at the end of each day with a pen and paper writing down everything in your life that you can think of that you appreciate. If you can't get at least 10, you're not trying.
• If there is a particularly troublesome person or situation, spend time, finding anything and everything that you can genuinely appreciate about it or them.  I promise, if you look, you'll find something.
• Be authentic and honest in your appreciations.  It will feel forced and awkward at first, but that's just because you're not used to it.  Pretty soon it'll be the most natural thing in the world.
• Do this every day for 30 days
• Watch as your focus shifts, and your experience of life transforms!

Until next time, learn heaps, live boldly, and love always!

Coach Ty

Seeing The Big Picture

"The problem is not that we have mental models, it is that we don't recognize that we have mental models.

-Srikumar Rao

When I was first exploring the nature of the mind, and how our thoughts create our experience of reality, I thought the best I could ever do was to switch from a very unpleasant way of seeing the world, to a positive way of seeing the world.  In the fields of NLP and Coaching, we call this re-framing.  When you change the frame size or location of the picture you are looking at, or in this case the circumstances in your life, then you will actually have a different experience of whatever it is you are looking at.

A common example of this in the personal transformation field, is the deliberate shifting of ones perspective from seeing something as a problem, to seeing it as a challenge.  Most people have a more empowered relationship to the world challenge than to the word problem.  We tend to think about problems as things that happen to us that we have very little if any control over, and in turn we are unlikely to do anything about them except lash out in anger, sadness or fear; which is what we do when we feel trapped.  Challenges on the other hand are often thought of more in terms of obstacles that we can overcome, so with that simple switch in how you are framing a situation, you will not only hold it differently in your mind but speak and act differently as a result.

You can even take this example one step further and see the challenges as opportunities.  They could be opportunities for learning or growth, or to practice love or forgiveness.  You can literally chose to see anything and everything in your life as an opportunity.  Re-framing takes practice though, and is usually much more effective with the assistance of a skilled coach.  However if you want to get good at seeing things differently, my favorite questions to ask myself are, 'How might I see this differently?' and 'How would I love to see this(situation, person, etc.)?'

This is the essence of positive thinking. Changing the way you look at the world to have a more pleasant experience of life.  It's just like the saying, 'if you're going to make stuff up, you might as well make up good stuff'.  Herein lies the problem with this whole approach though.  It still keeps people trapped inside their own thinking; it's just that instead of making up a crappy story about the circumstances of their life, they make up a happy story.  Never mind the fact that it takes a whole lot of work and practice to continually attempt to re-frame everything in your life.  Plus, sometimes it just doesn't work due to the surface level nature of re-framing.  In essence we're trading one story for another.

There is actually a way to step outside of your story, and transform your experience of life without trying to control your thinking.  All you have to do is see the truth of how the whole thing works.  This simple transformation occurs not by changing your thinking but in simply recognizing that as human beings we think.  When you know that your thoughts create 100% of your experience of the world, then your life will begin to transform from the inside out.

When somebody is getting really worked up about something in their life, it's often magnified because they are mistaking their thinking for being real.  In other words, when we're seeing life as though we are the victim of circumstances, it's not actually the circumstances that cause us suffering, it's our thoughts about the circumstances.  The sooner and more fully you recognize that it's just thought, the easier it will be for you to let those unpleasant thoughts go.

It's not that you won't still have an emotional experience of your thinking, because that just seems to be how the mind works.  We have a thought and then we experience an emotion.  But even when you are experiencing some really crappy thinking, if you know in the back of your mind that it's not real it's just a story in your head, that will make life much less scary.  When you know that you can only really experience your thinking,  and that your miserable thoughts will always pass through if you let them, than life gets really gentle really quick.

I once heard a story about Super Coach George Pransky working with a client, and he was explaining these very same concepts to her.  She then asked him "So, are you saying that my thinking isn't real, it's just a mirage?"  To that he replied "Well, lets put it this way, it's a real mirage."  The only danger is in not recognizing the illusory nature of our thinking.

At this point you may be questioning whether there are any practical applications to these ideas at all.  So, in the spirit of that, let me share some of the shifts that I've experienced, and that people have reported to me.

When you realize your thoughts are just that, thoughts, you might just find yourself:

• Experiencing more peace and well-being
• Making bold requests 
• Asking more people to hire you
• Asking more people out on dates
• Asking for more honesty
• Asking for forgiveness
• Asking for sex 
• Asking for a raise at work
• Asking for someone to sponsor you
• Asking for people to invest in your idea
• Asking for support and accountability
• Asking for acknowledgement
• Forgiving those people who you 'thought' wronged you
• Experiencing much more love for others
• No longer taking things personally
• Realizing that circumstances are just circumstances
• Connecting more deeply with the people in your life
• Having more meaningful conversations
• Living in the present moment
• Taking actions that you previously were too afraid to take
• Saying things that you were previously too insecure to say
• Experiencing much less fear
• Saying no to things that don't appeal to you
• Experiencing less guilt
• Laughing and playing more
• Slowing down and enjoying your life
• Taking really wonderful care of yourself

...just to name a few.

Coaching Tip of The Week:

This weeks experiment is simple but not necessarily easy.  I invite you to practice recognizing that your thinking is creating your experience, not the outside world.  When you find yourself upset, or in a foul mood, just simply acknowledge that it's everything to do with how you are 'SEEING' the situation, and nothing to do with the facts.  If you get stuck, just remember, you are never upset for the reasons you think; you are upset because you think.

Until next time, learn heaps, live large, and love always!

Coach Ty

The Power of Community

"It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've been in the game of creating my wonderful life for the last several years now, and I've only recently discovered a hugely important element, Community.  

When you think about creating the life of your dreams, how many of you think about it in terms of doing it all by yourself?  If you said yes, you're not alone.  That's pretty much the default setting for most people.  We have been taught from a very early age, that the highest mark of success is to not only make it in this world, but to be a self-made individual.  To have done it all on your own, without the help of anybody!  Fortunately, we don't live on that planet.  Here on Earth, nobody, and I do mean NOBODY, does it alone. 

Even the highest performers in the world such as top athletes, and world leaders all have support.  In fact, they have support teams.  These individuals know they can't do it alone, so they have coaches, mentors, advisers, and team-mates to support them in creating what they want in the world.  

The more quickly you are willing to embrace this, the more you can get to the business of enjoying your wonderful life.  Plus, at the very least, don't you want someone to share your success with?  I've realized I can't do it alone, and... I don't want to.

When you have a team of people who you can call on for support, a community, your life will transform.  Imagine when you need support, you actually get it, and from people who are willing and capable of giving it. One of my mentors Michael Neill, talks about it like this.  Think of something in your life that you want to create. Now, imagine that doing it by yourself is like trying to carry a canoe on your head, barefoot, down a dry river bed.  It's going to be slow, and hard, and painful, and you likely won't get there at all.  Now imagine that having a team to support you in creating what you want is like floating down a full, gently flowing river in your canoe. On this journey you get to experience ease, and joy, and beauty, and grace.  The choice is yours!

If you want to begin assembling your success team today... here's what you do:

Weekly Coaching Tip:

1. Make a list of the people in your life that love you no matter what.
2. Make a list of the people who are raving fans of your work
3. Make a list of the people who know more about creating what you want, than you do.
4. Make a list of the people who you would love to have on your support team including coaches, mentors, team-mates, brilliant minds, family, friends...etc.
5. Now that your list is compiled, ASK these people to be on your team.  Most people never ask for support, and it's very difficult if not impossible to get the support you want and need, if you are unwilling to ask. Ask who you want, and for what you want.  If you want accountability, ask for accountability, if you want acknowledgement, ask for that, if you want a kick in the pants, ask for that.  (For more on asking see my article Clean Requests)
6. Those who say yes, will make up your success team!(P.S. it's okay if some people are on your team and they don't know it ;-).
7. If you are struggling to come up with a list, come join Accomplishment Coaching's 'Coaches Training Program', and you will get set up with an instant support team the likes of which you have never experienced in your life.  Please check it out... your life will never be the same.
8. If signing up for a whole program is too much for you, please consider me as a potential member of your success team.  Contact me for a complimentary coaching session to see just how powerful the addition of a transformative coach can be for your success team.

Until next week, learn lots, live more, and love always,

Love and Light,

Coach Ty