Sleight of Mind: How The Truth Behind Life Remains Hidden

"We shall not cease from exploration, and at the end of all our exploring, will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time."-T.S. Elliot

My work as a Transformative Coach, contrary to popular belief, is actually very simple.  It can be boiled down to me pointing out to people the principles behind the human experience. That's it! Of course, it does require that at some point the client actually looks to see if these principles are true in their own life; which of course they are, otherwise they wouldn't be principles.  As we glimpse these deeper truths behind life, it has a transformative and discernible impact on our lives moving forward.

Inevitably, after people hear that, I get asked the question, "If the truth behind the human experience is so simple and transformative, then why doesn't everybody just see it and begin living wonderful lives?"  The answer is, the truth is difficult to see because of the illusory nature of the human experience.  This is what I have recently been calling Sleight of Mind, which is not all that different from sleight of hand.

Enjoy the video lecture accompanying this article.

Most people know that sleight of hand is something appearing to be one thing, and in actuality is something different.  Sleight of hand artists want us to believe that they are performing some act that defies the laws of physics, such as making an object disappear into thin air, or making themselves levitate off the ground.  We commonly refer to these tricks as "magic", however in "reality" they are simply manipulating certain characteristics of observation and perception, so as to make themselves appear supernatural. The most basic form of this is to create a distraction, and then while people are busy looking at the distraction, the practitioner performs another action, hidden to the observer, in order to give the illusion of something else entirely.

A very commonly used example of an illusion is the Wizard from The Wizard of Oz.  The character of the Wizard is made out to be some supernatural entity capable of great feats and solving the problems of all of the inhabitants of The Land of Oz.  He appears in many different forms such as a giant disembodied head, a beautiful fairy, and a great ball of fire. It turns out that he is actually none of these things, and is in fact an ordinary con-man from Omaha Nebraska.  He simply used a lot of elaborate props and sleight of hand tricks to make himself appear "great and powerful".  We often refer to him as the man behind the curtain.

Another, more naturally occurring example of an illusion, is a mirage.  Wikipedia says "A mirage is a naturally occurring optical phenomenon where light rays are bent to produce a displaced image of distant objects or the sky.  The most commonly talked about mirage is when we think we see water in the desert or during a heat wave, where there is no actual water. In this case, sand is literally appearing to us as water. But that of course does not make the sand into actual water. That is the nature of illusions, they aren't in truth what they appear to be.  A trick of the light if you will.

So, you may be asking, what do illusions and sleight of hand tricks have to do with living a wonderful life? The answer is, an awful lot. Let me first define a wonderful life for the purposes of this conversation.  Everyone will have slightly different definitions, however in my experience, if you dig deep enough, you'll find everyone wants to have deep and lasting experiences of Love, Connection, Ease and Peace of Mind... so let's go with that for now.

Illusions have everything to do with living a wonderful life, because the illusions of the Mind are the only obstacle to Peace of Mind, Love, and Well-being. The problem is, we don't know that our Mind is in a perpetual state of trickery, so it doesn't even occur to us to question our own experience of life. If we are willing to take a second look and examine how exactly our human experience gets created, we begin to see that there is much more to us than meets the eye.

The human race suffers from a single illusion, one big sleight of mind trick, appearing in countless different forms in order to carefully conceal itself from our watchful eyes. It is simple, we live a 100% internal, psychological existence, and we think it's a primarily physical, bodily, circumstantial existence. In other words, we BELIEVE that the source of our experience is coming from everywhere except the one place it actually is... within. We think our pleasure and our pain, our love and our suffering, our peace of mind, and our stress are all thrust upon us based on where our body happens to be, and what other bodies happen to be doing and saying around us.

Our experience of life, gets created not within the body, and not within the brain, but within the Mind; a non spacial, non temporal force that we can't even begin to conceive of right now from our current belief systems.  Within that Mind, the content of our experience(emotions, opinions, judgments, beliefs and memories) is made of Thought, and that get's brought to life through our Consciousness. Hence the three principles of Mind, Consciousness, and Thought.(to learn more please check out previous articles and videos of mine)

The reason that this is all very illusory and difficult to accept as true, is because of the simple function of projection.  You see, our entire experience of life is playing out in a Mind, but because the eyes and other senses of the body only look outward, we can't observe that mental experience with our physical senses.  So our internal experience is not only internal, but it's essentially invisible to us; and if it's invisible, then it becomes very difficult to examine in the way that we are used to examining things in the world.

We, as human beings, have two things going on in every moment.  An internal experience playing out in the mind, via thought and consciousness. And then we have circumstances playing out in the physical world. But, instead of seeing the truth, that their is no causal link between circumstance and state of mind, we project that internal experience out onto the world as if it were one gigantic movie screen, infinitely larger than any imax theater could provide.  The result is mass confusion.  What we get is, people's internal experiences APPEARING as though they are playing out in the world, but they really are not. This is the very essence of an illusion.

A movie projector is a beautiful analogy because it really does look like an entire world and story is playing out on the screen in front of us, but it's not.  It's a projection of sound and light through film onto a screen. We have the same thing happening in our minds, only the whole projection and film reel are hidden from us. That is, until we learn to look with our Minds eye, and not the body's.

The implications of this misunderstanding are significant to say the least.  We have an entire world culture thinking, believing, and behaving as though the human experience gets created either entirely through circumstance, or as a combination of circumstance and psychology.  Not for a second stopping to consider, What if it's all in the Mind? The odd and insane behavior stemming from this one mis-understanding is infinite and endless.

The good thing about illusions is, once you see through them, they will no longer have the same impact on us. Once we know what's really going on behind the scenes, we won't ever be fooled in the same way, or to the same degree again. As one of my teachers(who I'm failing to remember at the moment)said, "If you are crazy, but you know you are crazy, then you are not that crazy."

There's more good news. It turns out, that not only are we Minds(not bodies or brains), but we are of a Divine Mind. The fundamental nature of the Mind from which we come is Peace, Love, Joy, and Oneness.  When we allow our minds to slow down, and become clear, we naturally begin to experience those deeper feelings that are what make up a wonderful life.  We are the very thing we are searching for.

There's only one catch, and that is that we can think, believe, and therefore experience(because our experience is 100% in the Mind) anything, even if it's not true. Because of the sleight of mind that we all experience, we can be miserable, stressed, hateful, cruel, jealous, and depressed. These are but passing storms, all the while a deep and profound sense of well-being lives within us all, quietly waiting for a break in the weather; a weather that we unknowingly cultivate and invest in.

We don't believe we are divine because of all of the misery we experience. As long as the source of that misery appears to be OUTSIDE us, we can't let it go WITHIN us.   It is an innocent misery, because we simply don't know how the mind works.

The key to seeing through any illusion, is being willing to look. Get curious. Get suspicious of what you think you know about the human condition. It's okay if you don't know how or where to look, all it takes is a little willingness. There is more love and beauty residing in the collective human Mind than you could even begin to conceive of; and the wonderful thing about it is, it's unconditional.

If you look closely you'll see it.  It's there for everyone to see. Look for it in your brothers and sisters; your fellow human beings. We are all cut from the same cloth. This is not some obscure philosophy, but the truth.  Don't simply take my word for it, the truth about all of us is there waiting to be seen.  You may simply have to wade through a bit of mental trickery to discover it for yourself.

Once we begin to see the depth of illusion that we've been living in, we will naturally see what is behind the curtain of our personal thinking.  What we find, is not a conman from Omaha Nebraska, or sand that sometimes looks like water, but a deeper love and more profound peace than we have ever known. It is our spiritual birthright; yet, so is the capacity for free will.  We can choose to remain mindless and deny who we are deep down; living out the rest of our days in misery. Or, we can allow the truth of our Mind and Spirit to shine through. Our essence is infinitely patient, and no matter what we go through in life, regardless of how solid and real the illusion may seem, the truth will be there waiting for us... always!

Love and Light,
Tyler

The Role of Spirituality in Coaching

NEWS:  I am currently accepting new clients in my private coaching practice after a little hiatus.  If you have been on the fence about entering into a coaching relationship with me, please Contact Me, and I'd be happy to have a conversation with you about signing up, and what all will be available to you through our coaching. 

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"If you can discover one spiritual fact, it will change your life forever." -Syd Banks

When I first started out on my journey as a coach, I was hesitant to share my personal understanding of spirituality. I was afraid of what people would say if I used words like God, or Spirit in a coaching conversation; so I did my best to keep the conversations grounded in the physical world. I spoke with clients about goals, and we developed strategies to meet those goals. I used techniques and processes to motivate and inspire people, while also holding them accountable.  And yet, I never really addressed the human spirit directly.  After all, peoples spiritual beliefs are their own and who was I to question them?  However, I had begun to notice that this type of "performance coaching" had only been yielding moderate results. Sure, frequently I was able to help people achieve their goals, but that never seemed to make any significant difference in their lives.

I went on this way for some time, until I had some personal insights into my own spiritual nature. Those insights took me from an intellectual understanding of spiritual principles, to having a personal experience of transformation. It was then that everything changed for me, and my coaching was never the same again.  I stopped being a "performance coach" over night. I literally could not coach that way any more even if I had wanted to. My work was now firmly grounded in my new found spiritual understanding, and it has only deepened since then.

Now, in order for this to be useful for you, I need to address the question: what is spirituality?  This word can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people so let me clarify what I mean by it. One of my favorite definitions is one of the most simplistic: waking up to the truth of who we are; no more, no less.  It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with religion, and it's far more practical than most people realize. If you want to dive a bit deeper into this conversation, check out some of my other articles like Are We a Body or a Mind?.

So, what does this particular kind of spirituality have to do with coaching? In my experience... everything.

Most coaches, are Performance Coaches.  This is how I was originally trained, and it is simply helping people to get what they want, without being directly involved in the getting. These coaches are catalysts, creative spark plugs, motivators, and strategists.  And while this can be extremely useful in helping people achieve the goals that they set for themselves, it rarely helps people to have a more wonderful experience of life across the board. Of course the client will make changes, but they are almost always temporary, and usually go away shortly after the client stops working with the coach.  This also tends to breed a form of dependence which I personally always found a bit icky.

There are a handful of spiritual principles that are pretty reliably absent from this form of coaching.  Either the coach doesn't know about them, or doesn't really understand them in any meaningful way. These principles are "constant properties" of the Mind or Spirit(I use these terms interchangeably).

Here is a summary of some of the spiritual principles from which I coach and teach, they are incredibly simple, but often very difficult to fully or even partially grasp. Take your time with them, open your mind, and you just might understand them for yourself.

Spiritual Principle # 1: Our entire experience of life, is created within our own minds via the forces of Thought and Consciousness.  Let this sink in for just a moment.  There are some pretty significant implications to this principle which I can't even begin to do justice here.  Let's suffice it to say that, we've been taught that our experience of life comes from outside us; from other people, places, events, and circumstances; essentially, the actions we take, and the things that happen to us. This is not true, and we have all of us been taught incorrectly.

We have developed habits of thought that make it appear as though our experience is coming at us from the material world, but that is an illusion. We live a psychological existence without even knowing it.  None of us are born with a user manual for how the human experience gets created, but if we had been, this first principle would be in it, front and center.

If you don't understand this principle as a coach, you are innocently going to mislead people into thinking that the answers they are looking for, are indeed "out there" in the world.  You will in essence, be helping to perpetuate a lie which says... "If I can just get really skilled at getting what I want in life, then I will hold the key to happiness." Every person who believes this lie(almost everybody on the planet, whether they know it or not), is going to struggle because of it. As a result, most coaches are inadvertently serving to keep people looking for their happiness, peace of mind, and well-being where it is not!

Spiritual Principle # 2: Human beings can think, and believe anything! This is a wonderful creative capacity of the mind, that we have mistakenly used to imprison ourselves. This power allows us to take thoughts and ideas that are fundamentally false, and turn them into what appear to be gospel truths. If you don't believe me, go look up the modern day flat earth society, or the group of people who deny the Holocaust ever happened. These people aren't crazy, they are simply using the infinite capacity of the mind to delude themselves in a much less subtle way then the rest of the population does.

These delusions are known as false beliefs or false idols.  Instead of using thought to create and extend ourselves, we end up using it to limit who we are.  We attempt to make something that is unconditional, conditional.  These thought conditions are placed on our own happiness.  We then forget that we were the ones that created them, and simply go to work to fulfill these completely fabricated conditions. Some very common ones that you might recognize include(but are not limited to): not having enough money, not an attractive enough partner, not being treated with "respect", not being loved enough as a child, not having a good enough job, not having a romantic partner, or having a physical disability.  This list could be infinitely long, because we have an infinite capacity for new thought.  Unfortunately, this also means we have an infinite capacity to create false conditions, believe them wholeheartedly, and then act as if they are true... ultimately wasting most of our time.

We have been taught to believe by a very well meaning but incorrect world, that to experience a deep and profound sense of well-being, we first have to meet certain conditions in the world. This is a lie. And yet, most of the world experiences this as true, because of the power of the mind to deceive itself.  And yet, the problem isn't just that we can deceive ourselves, it's that we don't know that we have that capacity, so we go on living our lives,  assuming that:   Belief = Truth.

This ability to experience something "as if" it were true, is the very reason why people experience a sort of "imitation happiness" when they fulfill their very own made up conditions.  Our mind tells us, meet this specific condition and you'll be happy; and therefore we experience it as somewhat true.  The problem is, a new condition or idol is very quickly created by us to replace the old one. There is a part of the mind dedicated entirely to this process; I call it the condition factory.

Think about it, have you ever struggled your way to a goal that you thought was instrumental to your happiness or peace of mind, only to get right back to work on another bigger and better goal soon after?  So long as we are stuck in this cycle, we never fully experience the peace of mind that we believe achieving our goals will get us? This is the condition factory hard at work.

We were simply never taught that these conditions on our well-being are made of our own thinking, not brick and mortar. Without understanding this as a coach, we might be able to help people get what they "think" they want, but we will never be able to lead them to the kind of lasting peace and love that they are truly looking for.

Spiritual Principle # 3: Every single human being has innate well-being and peace of mind. This is a principle feature that is woven into the very fabric of who we are as spiritual beings. You might even say it is a gift from God.  Our spiritual well-being is quite literally, unconditional. Nothing has to be done, accomplished, or obtained to experience this innate health.   I have found this to be 100% true, no exceptions.

Here's the catch though; because of the first and second principles, we can think and deceive our selves into believing that there are very real conditions, and therefore we will cut ourselves off from the flow of who we are. Not in any permanent way, but it is as if we had pulled a wool over our eyes, and thought the sun had been destroyed. If we think and believe that we are fundamentally flawed, broken, and scarred beings, we will consequently have that experience.

The good news is, there is nothing that has the power to alter, change or damage our innate health. Innate means it is built in and cannot be taken away under any circumstance. We, as human beings, have simply deceived ourselves into dreaming a terrible dream that we are separate, lonely, miserable, broken people... and there is no hope for us. Or, perhaps we think there is hope for us, but it will only come when we have met all the conditions imposed on us by the big bad world. All of this is but a dream; and fortunately, what happens in a dream, matters not. The dream can have no lasting impact on the dreamer. Everyone has the potential to wake up tomorrow from a life of misery and be happy.  The only thing there is to do, is to recognize that we are dreaming, and we will begin the process of awakening.

If you as a coach, don't know that every human being has innate mental health, then you might be tempted to treat people as broken and needing fixing; instead of spending your time pointing people toward the truth of who they are.

I can't conceive of any coaching or teaching relationship that supports people to transform their lives, in which these principles are not present.  Other practitioners will likely use different words to describe these principles because the words themselves are meaningless.  It is the truth behind the words that makes all the difference in the world. All you have to do is see them for yourself, and it will change your life forever.

With all my love,
Tyler