When Actions Don't Work

"It is an old ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way."

-Rollo May

What I'm present to this week is the tendency to look to actions to solve our problems.  We want to do more, faster, and better.  Tangible, physical actions have their place in the world, there is no question about it, but let's look at where they go wrong.

The first problem we as humans bump up against when we go into action to solve our problems, is when it is in an attempt to address something that actions don't help with much, like our emotions.  Because as a culture, we are so used to getting into action around something to solve our problems, we just go there automatically when something is feeling off with our internal experience.  Unfortunately, the worst way to try and change how you feel, is attempting to change the world and the circumstances.  You may have noticed that wherever you go, and whatever you change outside you, you are still there, just like you were before.

The second problem I encounter for myself and the people I work with, is when we try and crank up the action to actually accomplish something in the outside world, but we do it from a place of internal struggle and emotional pain.  While this can be slightly more useful than the first problem, it still tends to lead to lack luster results and a pretty unpleasant journey.  I've personally had the experience of buckling down and doing what I need to do even though I'm angry, or frustrated, or depressed, and it just seems that there's a whole lot more resistance from others as well as myself.  You can get things done this way, but it is definitely the hard way.

So if any of this sounds familiar to you, and you're either not having a wonderful experience of life, or not creating the results you want, let's explore what you can couple with action, or replace action with to get from where you are to where you want to be.

Because our emotional experience is a direct result of the thoughts that we are thinking, and not the external circumstances, it then makes sense to take a look at our thinking if we want to shift our inner world.  I talk about this as 'Seeing'.  How are you seeing this situation? Start with spotting the thoughts that hurt, when you are experiencing emotional pain, I can guarantee there will be a thought there somewhere, even if it's pretty unconscious.  I invite you to experiment with just spotting the thought, and as soon as you realize that the source of your experience is coming from the thoughts flowing through your head, you might just find it takes the sting out of the whole thing.  The first step is just an awareness and a noticing.

Once you've identified some of the thoughts, ask yourself, am I willing to not take this thought so seriously? If you can honestly answer yes, then ask yourself, how else could I SEE this situation?  Keep asking yourself this question until you come up with a response that really resonates with you, and then try it on.  Look through some different glasses for a while.  If you're finding yourself a bit stuck, get a friend to help you play the 'how else could I see this' game.

The point of all of this, is that the second you truly see what is going on around you differently, the appropriate actions will flow from that place.  Also the moment you can realize that how you see something is completely subjective, and you're creating it, then you can begin to consciously create a different way of seeing.  You can see something as a tragedy, a blessing, a lesson, a learning experience, a gift, a punishment from god, or completely neutral.  The list is endless.  Just ask yourself, is how I'm currently seeing this empowering or dis-empowering?  If it's dis-empowering, notice it, ask yourself if you're willing to have it be less significant, and than see if you can create something new for yourself.

The second thing to consider before you take your action is, how am I being about this?  Am I in a state of frustration or anger, am I sad or depressed, am I experiencing curiosity and wonder, or am I playful and full of joy?  These states often flow from how we see something, but in addition to focusing exclusively on the seeing, you might ask yourself, how would I love to be about this situation?  Do you want to be more loving, more accepting, more joyful, more peaceful, or more purposeful?  Once you have your answer, just create an intention around how you want to show up.  Don't worry about how to make it happen for now, because controlling our states is not easy.  You can however point yourself in a direction.  Just keep pointing yourself in the direction of well-being, joy, and love, and you might just find yourself living into that more and more, every day. Guide yourself with the questions, how would I love to be about this, and how would I love to see this?

Now that you've taken into consideration how you are seeing the world, and how you are being about the world, you are now ready to take action if there is still action to be taken.  It's amazing how often I find there is no longer anything to 'do'. When there is actions required to create what you want, they are simple and straight forward.  Experiment with how different your results are when you take actions that flow from that place of inner wisdom and well-being, as opposed to desperation and fear.

Love and Light,
Tyler