Are You Your Story?

"That millions share the same forms of mental pathology does not make those people sane"

- Erich Fromm

We all have this story we've developed about ourselves.  The Story of our lives.  We begin to develop this story very early on, and then we begin to tell this story.  We start with telling this story to the world, and then we begin telling this story to ourselves.  We begin to live out this story as if it were true, and the more we live it, and the more we tell it, the more we identify with it, make it important, and believe it to be true.  This story is long, elaborate, and detailed.  What is this story exactly, you ask?  Well, this is The Story of You (a wonderful book by Steve Chandler as well).

Do you know when you meet someone for the first time, and you ask them, 'hey, what's your story?'  They usually will tell you about who they think themselves to be.  They will tell you about their character and their persona.  They will tell you that they do these types of things, and not those types of things.  They hang out with these types of people, and not those types of people.  The only thing is none of it exists outside your thinking.  It's all made up.  It's a story, made up... by you, told ...by you, and believed ...by you.  The problem comes when we forget that it's just a story, and we mistake it to be real and true. It seems to be one of the only things that actually gets in the way of us having a wonderful EXPERIENCE of life.

(This metaphor is adapted from Michael Neill's book SuperCoach)
Imagine you are watching a movie, which just happens to be our modern day version of story telling.  It's a scary movie and you're really getting into it.  You get lost in it, and you find yourself walking down the dark stairs into the basement right behind the young woman holding a flashlight on the dark stormy evening.  The flashlights' batteries die and the only light source flickers out.  A creature suddenly and unexpectedly jumps out of the shadows suddenly and you just about jump out of your own skin.  And then of course you remember that it is just a movie, and that if they zoomed out a few feet you'd see the boom mic, the directors chair, and the wardrobe department.  When you know absolutely that it's not real, the fear vanishes, but when you get caught up in the story and begin buying into the story, that's how the fear creeps in.

This is very similar to how we live our lives except for one very important realization, that our story, and our thinking isn't real, it's just thought.  No more real than the projected images appearing on the movie screen.

We all get caught up from time to time telling others about how the situations and circumstances of our life are either wonderful or terrible.  We tell others about our limitations, reasons and excuses.  These are all part of the story telling.  In fact, we tell and tell and tell, until the wonderful people around us believe us.  They believe we really aren't smart enough, we aren't strong enough, we aren't pretty enough, and we aren't loving enough.  They believe us and we believe us and then we are stuck mistaking our story for reality.

When you begin to recognize your story for what it is, just a story.  It's just some idea that you created about yourself in an attempt to fit in, stay safe, or get sympathy.  Then you can begin to see through it to the truth and begin living from the truth.

The Truth is Circumstances are just circumstances, neither good or bad until you think about it.  As Byron Katie says, it just is.  The truth is that you are beautiful, powerful, creative, talented, peaceful, happy, loving, and wise.

Often times we wear the mask of our story because we think it is hiding something hideous.  Other times we wear it because it's just a habit.  When you begin playing with taking the mask off from time to time, it may be unfamiliar at first, but when you look a little closer you might just  remember that this is who you really are.  You are your essence, and you are your spirit. These will shine more brightly than you could possibly imagine... when you put your story to rest.  Just like in the movie theater when you realize you're sitting in a chair with your friends not in the room with the computer generated monster who's also not real.

The reality is we will all have a story as long as we have these bodies, however you can notice it, acknowledge it, and begin to step outside it.  Remember, you're not actually stuck, you're just stuck in your story!

I will leave you with one of my favorite questions in the world and it comes from Byron Katie,
 "Who would you be without your story?"

I know the answer... but you'll have to experience it for yourself!

Love and Light,
Tyler