"Feel the fear, throw-up, and do it anyway!"
-Michael Neill
I had a conversation the other day with one of my mentors, in which I expressed my frustration that I was continually letting my fears get the better of me. The pattern was, I'd think of something I wanted to do, feel fear, and then not do it... pretty standard human tendency, is it not? Perhaps the only difference for me was that I knew without question the source of my fear was thought and could only ever come from thought, not from the big world outside of my head.
This bamboozled me. I thought that seeing the truth of fear and it's source would either make the fear go away and I would take action, or I would laugh in the face of it, and then take action. Neither of which occurred for me. I knew it was just thought, and still didn't take action.... WHY!?!? So I did what any reasonable person would do... ask for help.
I called my mentor and the conversation went something like this:
Me: I'm sick and tired of being afraid all of the time, and more importantly letting my fear stop me from doing what I want to do in the world.
Mentor: What is it you think you would be doing if you weren't afraid?
Me: Well, I'd be calling people I know and offering them my coaching services.
Mentor: What kind of a difference do you think you could make for these people?
Me: After working with me, I'm pretty certain they would have much better relationships, health and well-being, more peace of mind and less stress, more energy, make better decisions, be more creative and successful in business.
Mentor: It seems to me if you can really transform people's lives in the way you say... then who cares about you and your fears?!
Me: Hmm, It does seem a little silly when you put it like that... but what about when the fear comes up, because I know it still will... what then?
Mentor: This may seem like a naive question, but why let fear be the thing that stops you? I mean, I've worked with a lot of people at the top of the entertainment industry, and many of them throw up from fear before they go on stage, and then they go on to deliver award winning performances. Why not just Throw Up and Do It Anyway!?
Me: (silence) (Insight) Wow, you mean my fear doesn't really have anything to do with taking action?!
Mentor: Yeah, it seems to me that fear is a thought, and action is action. Sometimes you'll take actions and there will be fear present, and sometimes you take actions and there won't be any fear. There is no inherent link between the two.
Me: Wow, I think I'm going to go make some calls.
After this conversation not only did I reach out to a number of people in my contacts list, I also had a couple of really valuable insights that I really want to share with you.
The first and probably most important was that all of this time, I'd been treating my fear very much like a stop sign. In other words, I thought that whenever I felt fear in my body, that meant stop, don't take action, it could be dangerous. As opposed to seeing the truth that fear just meant I was thinking fearful thoughts and had absolutely zero to do with what actions I took. I had simply never learned to act in spite of feeling fear in my body... as those entertainers had.
The second insight, was that I had been mixing up this kind of worry fear(not based on actual physical dangers) with an actual awareness of danger. Most of our fears are just worries that even when manifested would have no impact on our physical well-being. For instance, even if my fears about calling people came true and I did get yelled at and hung up on... I'd be none the worse for wear. That is different than an awareness that comes when you are in real physical danger like if you come upon little bear cubs in the forest, or almost step on a rattle snake.
The worry is worthless and not only doesn't protect you, but holds you back and blocks your creativity and clarity of mind. The awareness of danger is extremely valuable and in my experience is often accompanied by a real clarity and knowing what to do in the moment. Distinguishing between these two "fears" is a worthwhile endeavor.
It will also serve you to realize that the true value I got for myself came from my own insights... not the words of my mentor. Perhaps you have noticed this in your own life, but those things that have true lasting value pretty much always come from within you in the form of an insight, aha moment, or a light bulb going off in your mind. So, even as you read these words, don't try too hard to intellectualize what I'm telling you, simply look behind the words to the truth.
It is my sincere intention that these insights I've had will help to facilitate your own insights that will allow you to move forward with your dreams and aspiration. If you haven't yet had your own insight into fear and the nature of thought, simply look to the unknown, or look where you don't know where to look. (Also stay tuned as I'll be having an upcoming blog about the nature and value of insight.)
As you go the way of life, and have a strong desire to do something but the fear seems so real and overwhelming that you could puke... best case, you notice it's just thought, the feeling goes away and you take action; or, worst case you just throw-up and do it anyway!?
P.S. Just as an aside: You might revel in the power of thought to make you nauseous in the first place... but perhaps that's a conversation for another time ;-)
Have an amazing journey
With Love and Light,
Tyler
